A families love for one another.

Today Jonathon and I went to the zoo. It was a reward for being such a good boy at home this week. We had a really good time and walked all over the entire zoo and saw every animal there. Before we went to the zoo, we went to McDonald's so he could play on the playground since the one at the zoo is getting a makeover. He was so excited and had a blast with Mama.

On the way back home, we stopped by Wal-Mart and we picked up a preschool workbook so we could work on school stuff at home, just to give him a little extra help. Tony and I had talked about ways we could handle his issues in school, and decided as a family we all need to give Jonathon more one on one time. I spend all day with him, but the others are so busy that they forget.

Tony and I sat down with Jonathon and worked a couple of pages in the workbook. One of the pages is about the number 2. Jonathon has no trouble recognizing all of the letters and numbers, but this particular page had a place to practice writing the number. He started out tracing it, and did a great job with that. It took a few times showing him how to hold the crayon, but he did trace it. Then it came to trying to draw the number on his own. That is where he had real trouble. We tried and tried, but he just wouldn't try by himself. We tried helping his hand write the number and he watched as the crayon made the number, but when we let go, he would lose concentration. Then he became frustrated, we all became frustrated. I know we shouldn't have, but it is hard to see him struggle and become frustrated in himself. Jonathon got upset and started to cry and say he couldn't do anything. We asked why he said that and he said because Daddy said he couldn't. Now no one in this house has ever said that, not ever. I don't know where that came from, and why, but he was so upset that we had to stop. It took a while, but we consoled him and after calming down and getting still he fell asleep in my arms on the couch.

I put him in his bed and he slept for a few hours. After he woke, he was in a better mood, but I decided not to approach the workbook again today. We instead talked about how he could do anything he wanted, he could be anything he wanted, and how smart he is. We spent the rest of the evening giving each other hugs and kisses and reinforcing how smart he is and what a big boy he is and how proud mama is of him.

Kyle and Emil got back from their football game later on, and I talked to Kyle. I told him how the teacher thought Jonathon was having some issues and that we were concerned. Kyle froze, and said, "Jonathon?". He looked sad and almost like he was about to cry, but him being a teenager, he didn't. I told both him and Emil that we need to each spend time with him one on one. They both agreed and we discussed some ways they could help. They are going to put forth the effort to spend a few minutes a day helping Jonathon. They are going to be big brothers that care about their little brother and show it. It touched my heart the real concern Kyle showed. The same with Emil. They both were serious and ready to help out our little man. Jonathon came out of his room about that time and told me he loved me again, I never get tired of hearing that. He gave me a hug and a kiss and walked back to his room. Then he came out into the hall and told both Emil and Kyle that he loved them and gave them both hugs. Such a touching moment for all of them. I believe that is the first hug Jonathon has given Emil.

So anyway, we are all united, and we are all in this together. The boys can help just by being concerned and showing they care. Jonathon looks up to them and having them help I am sure will help Jonathon to come around. I am anxious for the observation, more to see what someone else thinks. I am also anxious about next week in school for him, since we are trying to change some of the behaviors ourselves with just talking to him and explaining things. I will be anxious to know if just one thing gets better because of it.

I also sent his teacher an email telling her of the things we are trying, so that she may use some of the key phrases if need be in class. One of the things we have stressed is to only worry about himself and if he is doing what he should. He shouldn't worry about the other kids doing the right thing. We ask him, "Who do you need to worry about?" and he says, "Me." Then we ask him "Who else?" and he says, "No one." So maybe that will help. Maybe just a few times reminding him will turn that around.

I must say, though, that Jonathon is lucky to have two big brothers who care about him and want to help. He is also lucky to have a great teacher and school who show concern for him. I am glad we know this, and I know we can get through it, as a family.

My Little Man

Today I got a call from my husband. He had taken our little guy Jonathon to school and picked him up today, because I had to help with the Band at the high school today. My husband told me that Jonathon's teacher had taken him aside to talk to him about some of his behavior in class. From what he told me, and I am waiting for a call back from his teacher, but Jonathon has been having some unusual reactions in class. He gets upset with other children over a facial expression they have, he has covered his ears and told other children not to talk or that they are doing something wrong, he has said he was afraid to color, that he can't sit on the floor because he will get dirty, has become upset when the teacher has said the day of the week and he didn't agree, etc. They have had to take him out of class at times to console him when he has gotten upset.

I don't know all the details, because Tony was going by memory and said it was a lot of different things and that he wanted me to talk to the teacher to hear what she had said. His behavior has been good as far as doing what he is told, besides being afraid of crayons and sitting on the floor. Now I am worried. I have noticed some behaviors in him for a while. My sister taught him to "park" his toy cars, and ever since them he will put all of the cars he owns in a row. He repeats actions, like moving pillows from one place to another over and over. He is now counting the same things over and over, like the lighthouses in our living room. He has a short temper, which is getting better, but he will sometimes tense up and clinch his fists when he gets angry. He also is a thumb sucker and will suck his thumb in the car and bounce his head off the seat over and over. The first week of school, he would cry everyday that I would pick him up. Then when walking down the staircase, he would want to walk on the wrong side and when I would try to move him he would get upset. I finally talked him into walking down the right side, though.

He has no trouble with speech, he has always spoken well, although he has trouble with L's and a few other letters. He will listen, even though I have had to give treats to help persuade him at times. It seems when I talk to him, he will understand the issues I have with him, and he will do better, but it seems like now there are more and more issues that I didn't know about until today.

I am worried. Worried that there is some problem he has. Worried that he may always face these issues. I know it is too early to make assumptions, but when you don't know, you always think the worst. I just cannot imagine that my little boy has these problems. I cannot imagine what must be going through his mind when he gets upset at small things. I don't know why he says he is afraid of things he should never be afraid of. I wish I could be him for a day and try to understand it.

Right now though, all I can do is worry. Worry until we have some answers. Could it be that he just hasn't adjusted to being around his peers? Could it be that we just haven't had him around enough kids his age for him to know how to handle these situations? Could it be that he really has some issue that is causing these behaviors? Could it be that he is on the Autistic Spectrum? Could he be Obsessive Compulsive? Could he just be four and just be difficult?

I wish I had some answers so I could stop worrying what it could be. I wish I had heard from his teacher myself. I hope she calls back soon. This is hard.

Open House with all the other parents

I was FINALLY able to attend an open house this year. In the past, I have worked and never seemed to have the night off when Open House came around for Kyle. I have always wanted to go and meet his teachers and walk through his schedule and see what he complains about. :)

This time, though, I have two students in High School. Tony had to work, so I had to go by myself and flip a coin as to who's schedule I would follow. Emil was the lucky winner. Afterwards, I realized that he should have been the one I followed, because Kyle does complain and talk about his classes, Emil so far has been quiet about the classes and grades.

So, I walked into a gymnasium filled to capacity to hear the speeches given by the Principal and other members of the staff before being let out to find his homeroom classroom numbered B 119. After finding another band mom, I was able to find B hall, and walked around the complete circle of a hallway until I finally found B 119. There I got Emil's schedule and was dismissed to the first class of the evening.


The first class was English III. Now, for Emil, English is, of course, his second language. This class would send me reeling, not to mention someone who is trying to perfect the usage of everyday English vocabulary. I didn't recognize a single word in the vocabulary list on the board. We were given a questionnaire to fill out to give the teacher an insight into our children. I only answered a couple of questions, but the final question was something to the effect of what we hope our children will get from this class. Well, I truthfully answered that I hope he can leave having learned one thing. I don't care what that one thing is, but I hope he can find it and learn it. I explained we don't expect A's or B's or even D's, we just expect effort and a good 'ole college try. Failure is not failure if he gave his best.

So anyway, fast forward through study hall (where I got a glass of tea and a cookie), History, German II (hehe), Algebra II (where I saw the other Ravenwood exchange student host mother) Wind Orchestra, and Chemistry. I finally was through a normal day of classes and ready to go home. I took my stack of papers and headed out into the mass of cars that an 1,800 student school produces. Now I know why it takes Kyle so long to get home in the afternoon.

As I walked in the door, I announced the winner of the coin toss and Kyle looked a little bummed. I assured him, though, that if he wanted me to meet his teachers, I would be glad to go to Conferences, when I was quickly told "NO!" (hehe) Emil, on the other hand looked a little excited as well as nervous of what I had heard. Since we only spent 10 minutes in each class, I assured him I had no idea of his grades, but that I did know a progress report is due in the mail in a few days. I did, however, sign up for the parent connection site that will give us access to live grades and attendance. Emil wanted to see his grade immediately, but the school must approve my login prior to seeing them. Emil informed me he was having a hard time in English. Nothing that I did not already expect, however. I explained my theory, that failure is not failure if it is your best. He looked a little perplexed, but after explaining that as long as he tried his best, we would have no problems. Like any teenager, he asked what if he didn't. To which I answered "We would have a problem." The next question was what consequences there would be to failure without effort. I explained that he would be spending time with me studying and maybe, just maybe, I could learn a word or two as well.

So, I think he may give it a little more effort, which is good, but I really don't expect much especially this first grading period. After all, English in America is totally different from English in Austria. One is learning a language, one is learning what the crap MLA is.

Good Luck, Emil.

Jonathon's first day of Preschool!

Tuesday September 2nd was Jonathon's first day of preschool. He is attending Jacob's Ladder in Nolensville. On Monday night he was so excited after his bath that he walked around for a couple of hours saying he was ready to leave. We packed up his backpack with his teddy bear, who will graduate on Thursday. He couldn't understand why he couldn't go to school on Monday night.

We finally got him to sleep, but the next morning he was so excited that he was up early. We got him dressed and ready and Granny and Grandaddy came by to see him before his big day.
We took him and dropped him off, and he didn't slow down long enough to say goodbye. He was up the stairs and into his classroom. It is a bittersweet feeling sending your baby off to school, even if it is only 3 hours 4 days a week. It brings back memories of holding this little helpless baby in my arms and taking care of his every need. Now he holds the handrail and goes into his classroom without even as much as a look back. It is amazing to me the independence he has. I know I taught him well, but it is still amazing.

We went back to get him, and walked to his classroom. His teacher said he had a pretty good day, only getting upset once at the end of the day when she had them put away the toys and move on to something else. He wanted to finish the puzzle he was working on. When we walked up, he was talking about the puzzle, so we let him go get it and finish it before taking him home. When he was done, and we got up to leave, he started to cry. He didn't want to leave. His wonderful teacher brought a tissue and explained that he would come back again the next day and wiped his tears.

We were finally able to take him home, and this morning he was ready to go again. This little man loves school. He is fascinated with school buses, and has wanted to follow his big brother to school for a couple of years now. Finally, he is big enough to go to his own school! He couldn't be happier!

Those are That and These are This, Though.

Yeah, you read that right. Make any sense to you? Me either.

Those are a few of the words that Emil has asked me to explain. He knows the words, but the correct usage and meaning are giving him trouble. Man, I wish I had paid more attention in English class. I have done my best to explain the meanings that I can think of, did my best to use them correctly, and even ran off to look them up in Webster's. He is doing so good in adjusting, and is learning something all the time, but he's putting my brain to the test, too. I guess I am the English teacher in the house. The other day, I was sitting alone on the back porch, and heard the door open, My husband Tony, Kyle and Emil came out the door all smiling. That's when I was asked yet another definition and usage question. I had to laugh, because Tony always said his best class in school was English.

Band season is starting to crank up. Football at Ravenwood has started, and just last Friday was the first time the band wore their uniforms. This Friday is another home game against Franklin, when I get to say hello to my friend and assistant band director of Franklin High School, Kerry Vaughn.

Saturday Emil gets to head off for a weekend with AFS at Mammoth Cave. He will spend the night there in a cabin with his fellow AFS'ers from the Tennessee, Kentucky, and Mississippi area. He is really excited for the trip, and is planning his talent for the talent show. Sunday when he returns, he will meet Tony's side of the family at the Smiley family reunion. None of them have met him yet, and I am sure he will have a fun time trying to understand their accent.

While Emil is gone, Kyle will participate in the Williamson County Exhibition at Page High School, my old home! This is not a band contest, but a showcase of all the high school bands in Williamson County. I will put my band mom hat on again and be riding the bus with the kids as a chaperone.

School Days

School has started for Kyle and Emil. They are both Juniors at Ravenwood High School. Both of them are in the Marching Band. Tonight is the first football game. It is all beginning to get busy. Band Practices after school, trips to football games, and throw in a contest on Saturday and our week starts again.

Kyle is taking 2 AP classes, English and U.S. History, and 3 Honors classes, Algebra 2, Spanish 2, and Chemistry. Emil finally got a class load we think he will do ok with. Junior English, U.S. History, Algebra 2, Chemistry and German. Yes, German. He speaks German, but as he found out yesterday, the kids in the U.S. learn proper Germany German. Austrian German is a little different. So even though it might be a laughable class to take for someone who is a native German speaker, maybe he will learn a little something. I don't know how he will do in Junior English, especially since they are writing papers and reading works such as the Crucible and Catcher in the Rye.

As for Jonathon, we attended a meeting at his preschool last night. He will love it, I am sure, but this will be the first time he is attending school. We made his star for his classroom last night, his photo on one side and things about him on the back. He told me what to write, so we included his favorite color (yellow), his favorite food (PB&J), and the fact that he now has two big brothers. Now we have to get some stickers to decorate it. He starts his first day of school on September 2nd. My little man is growing up!

With all three of them in school, I will have almost 3 hours to myself Mondays-Thursdays. What will I do? I might just take a nap, since the rest of the time I will be running in one direction or another. Whew! Thank goodness Kyle can drive now!

Culture Shock

On Friday, August 15th, my family gained another member. I became a mother of three instead of two. Thing is, I didn't give birth to this one, nor have I raised this one since 9 years old. No, this one came to us being 16 and this being the first time he has ever set foot on American soil. I now have three boys, two 16 and one 4. Yes, that is right, I have two 16 year old boys. (shoot me now!)

Last spring, Kyle's Spanish teacher sent an email to us telling us about a program called AFS (American Field Service). I had never heard of AFS, but I knew what they did. They are an Exchange Student program that is Global. Now, when I was in high school, my Spanish teacher gave me a letter to take home (long before the age of mass emailing), and when I read it, I was instantly interested. My parents shared the same enthusiasm, and the Spring of my Sophomore and Junior years we hosted two Argentinian girls in our home. Back then, they came on their summer break and were with us a total of three months. Not so anymore, or at least not with AFS.

I showed the email first to my husband. He had never done anything like that before, so he was a little hesitant to even entertain the idea. As time when on, I shared the memories I had of Cecy and Carolina. How different they were not only from us, but from each other. How we learned different things from each of them, and how much of an experience it was for the student as well as our whole family. My mom loved the girls, she took so easily to mothering another child, simply because there were always extra kids in our house anyway and most called her Mom, too. Dad, he on the other hand, was much different. He learned things, sure, but he made sure both girls left knowing Football wasn't Soccer. To this day, he still can't pronounce Buenos Aires right, sounds more like Bonus Airs, but the man still thinks the word "car" is in Chicago.

After much discussion and thought, we approached our teenager, Kyle with the idea. Take into consideration, Kyle grew up an Air Force brat, and has lived in more countries than I can hope to ever see. He thought it would be cool, but I knew he had no idea what he was really getting into. For some reason he, like most every teenager in the US, thinks that their way is the right way, and everyone strives to be as "American" as possible.

Well, Friday we arrived at the Green Hills church where the students spend their first night in America. As we drove up, we saw standing on the sidewalk, the boy we had found on Myspace and been emailing for the past month. He was smiling ear to ear recognizing us as soon as we got out of the car. In an awkward greeting, I managed to hug him, Kyle did too, Tony shook his hand and Jonathon, the 4 year old, finally managed to say what he had practiced for a month, which was Guten Tag. We gathered his things, posed for a photo, and packed him into the car with us.

The first few minutes at home were spent trying to figure out just how much he understood us. He understands way more than I expected, and his English, while a little hesitant and broken, is actually better than I would have guessed. The more confident he gets, the better it will be, because he is better than he thinks he is. Oh, did I forget, his name is Emil and he is from Austria.

The first evening, since we picked him up at 4, we decided to take the family to Pizza Hut (Emil's favorite food) for dinner. He saw for the first time, and used, a soda fountain. He learned we serve in no certain order, since they serve the father first, and that we are pretty relaxed eaters. It was different for him, and as he would bend toward his plate to pick up his food, he would dart his eyes around to make sure he did it right as to not be embarrassed.

New challenges come everyday, but we hit them head-on and learn his way as we teach our way. He started school Monday the 18th. He started Marching Band on the 16th. He is getting into the groove, with a few stumbles and quirks along the way. I think it is going to be a real learning experience for all of us, but a good thing for everyone. He will be here through June, so there is plenty of time to learn and plenty of opportunities to see new things. As for now, the Culture Shock isn't too bad. I think we will all be one big happy family.